Getting better & what medicine can’t do.

Cannabis medicine

Ashton Deroy writes: 

Hey WordPress readers, Twitter Followers & close Facebook friends. 

If this is your first time on this blog. This is a space where we tell marijuana jokes & explore how marijuana treats PTSD. I like to say I am a centrist when it comes to marijuana as medicine. Thank Diana Skye in large part. I always have her to remind me it is not a miracle drug. In fact without cognitive rehabilitation studies are showing that it does nothing for PTSD. Marijuana is still a medicine that aids with my mental issue while making me open to conversations I need to be having with physicians, counselors & an awaiting psyche referral. I just got my medication from Canada Post, sold to me by Aphria for my PTSD. 

What triggered my PTSD? , I am a victim of multiple trauma. In fact 3 key traumas I think play a role. 1. I was sexually assaulted at 17 & 14 by a relative. 2. When I was 19 I nearly got trapped in a dumpster before being saved by a very close friend & my brother. 3. I was abused by my ex-boyfriend. The third one was the worst one because it was constant and I couldn’t will my way out of the relationship until 2015 and we were unhealthy from the beginning in 2013. 

This is an entry in my pot journal. Before I begin I want to say I am safe, in recovery & functioning. While some of it goes to the medicine, for example being able to do something other than ball my eyes out after work. I realize there is a lot my medicine cannot do for me. The following things are stuff I know the medicine cannot do for me: 

  1. The medicine cannot go to work for me. I need to wake up be sober & maybe have a cup of coffee in the morning in order to do that. 
  2. The medicine can not face loved ones & friends I’ve turned against in stages of high paranoia. I need to make my own amends in my own time in order to fix this problem.
  3. The medicine cannot tell a story through image & text. That is still me, my brain, my dreams & my executed vision.  
  4. The medicine isn’t the one surviving my condition. I am the one who turned to help for my PTSD around a time it could have killed me. 

I worry sometimes because I have momentary space-outs at work, I might overshare & I have alienated myself from prior social groups. However, recovery is a process and not one I have stuck to much until now. I want to talk about a study I am looking at. 

Is Psychological condition a victim of one’s nature or is it nurture? This is often a debate I have with my brother actually. In a lot of ways, I am very similar to our mom. Also, who has PTSD? While both of our’s are triggered by instances of trauma. Still, there are people traumatized who do not experience this disorder. So why us? Her’s was triggered by a car accident mine was triggered by bashing and an abusive ex. 

Speaking of medicine use. I need to follow physician orders & look into vaporizers or edibles. It goes without saying picking up a cheap bong or pipe is an easy option. Maybe not the smartest. If you have a recommendation please email me at Ashtonderoy@gmail.com 

 

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