Ashton Deroy Writes: Hey guys, so there have definitely been some changes obviously. We started our own online shop! We are starting out as drop shippers & designers but we are hoping to actually own and photograph our products very soon.
We sold something in under an hour! So we know stuff is going to happen with this project. I mean it is literally lead by a guy who loves sales. The second on the project is my brother Matt Clarke .
I hope people will continue to support this blog now that we are operating as a business. We still hope to make magnificent art & connect with the alternative healing community.
Canada Day Wake & Bake
Happy Canada Day viewers. In this video, I just wanted to showcase my new (used) vape & some pets. This video is still brought to you by the fact, “Diana Prefers Non-GMO food because she is fancy.”
Written by Ashton Deroy: In coherence with the law no non-medical users or underaged person were given access to personal medication supply. We also harmed 0 animals in the making of this video. As the vlogger is a vegetarian. Ashley helped with the filming & cooking while I was medicating, because sometimes intoxicated cooking causes fires.
“A condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world.” Google search
If you ask me what it is, however… I will tell you it is.
Consistently having nightmares that make sleep impossible.
Feeling like the world’s sole purpose with you is to torment you.
Losing the ability to believe in love because it only amounts to pain
Struggling to hold a job because you stress yourself out of them
Feeling crushed under the pressure of what you feel is your closely approaching doom.
On the telephone doing financial market research in the Baltimore territory. I got called a cockroach by someone on the other end of the phone 6/25. A cockroach, like something exposed to a filthy environment, multiple trauma’s but just won’t die! Even if you crush just a part of one of these pests, it can drag itself around still. However, a cockroach feels no pain!
Maybe I am dirty, maybe I am dragging around a partially crushed carcas. I do feel pain though & instead of letting it kill me. I just try to live in spite of it.
Ashton Deroy Writes: Due to just incredible feedback & my willingness to execute this project. I will be turning this space into my medical marijuana blog, where my goal long term is to have it featured in partnership with Swan Whispers ASMR.
If we are just meeting. I am Ashton Deroy, gay bashing survivor, a victim of the affliction of PTSD & medical cannabis user. When I was 19 I was a victim of an attack which had me lead my 3 other men into a dumpster where I was trapped. It was not long but it could have been the end of my life had it not been for some friends looking out for me.
“I don’t want to be like this.” What do I mean when I say that? Well, I don’t want to have fits, stress out or cry for no reason. I think I sound insane when I describe it to people. In fact, I know I sound insane. When you talk about survivors… Talk about the girl at my work who when I told her I had PTSD she mentioned she was a breast cancer survivor. That surviving takes bravery!
What about my aunt? Surviving the attacks of a terrorist & cancer as well. That is bravery. I just continue to be loud & expressive in a world that has sometimes rejected me like trash. That is when I am not completely losing my mind to a panic attack.
I can’t do anything about my past, but I can try to live happy in the present. That is when the pot comes in. Now, I can’t pretend… These things still happen because weed is not a miracle cure it is a management medicine. These are things that still happen to me with weed:
I still get scared & panic for no reason
I can still cry for no reason
I can still feel at time dejected and rejected.
What is not happening? :
I am not self-harming
I am not drinking unsupervised if at all. (PTSD & alcohol is not a good combo)
I do not wake up feeling hopeless and incapable even in a scarce resource period
I do not wonder if I will live past my 30’s. I now know I will.
Some people are going to think I come down hard on cannabis for what it is. It is a drug! One safer than my other options but nevertheless it is a drug. Before you try a cartoon claim of “no one’s life is ruined by cannabis.” Think again my friend.
These shitty things still happen on cannabis:
Intoxicated driving – Happens at the same rate as alcohol. Hence Ontario’s new driving regulations.
Drug dependance– A guy in college stole his girlfriend’s family airlooms to buy marijuana. I have also seen & heard about it obliterating marriages. In instances where spouses lied about use or spent the mortgage funds on pot. A lot of the issues arrise in low income homes eg college housing & welfare housing.
Self-harm– In instances where people medicate without aided cognitive rehabilitation.
Sexual exploitation – There are pot dealers that exploit drug dependant women in Quinte West trading the drug for sex.
How to manage the sacrifice? As my step mom says,”Everything in moderation.”
Change your method of delivery – Bongs get you high, tea medicates you.
Take time to think about what you want from your use- Adventure, creativity & relief of an ailment are all good choices. To be high for the sake of it is an abuse.
Seek open minded medical feedback- It took me 4 years of unaided use & drug detox clinic to find a treatment method suitable for me.
Check in with your family – Don’t choose pot over them. I frequently tell relatives I love them more than pot & my dad is somewhat right. If I am not having an traumatic episode, I do not need pot when I travel.
There are amazing quotes about proper use and cannabis is a medicine. Just like any medicine with brain altering chemicals it can be abused. It is important to think critically about use, get feedback from professionals & check in with your family/spiritual community. This will make you in control of the medicine & not the other way around.
Call to action: Next time you reach for your medicine. Weigh your losses and gains for being high in that moment. A night of being alone watching cartoons might be a gain for example. Helping your family may require your wits about you. Write it down!