Tag Archives: Mental Health

My time on a TrainWreck! #420

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Written by Ashton Deroy: Hey everyone thank you for checking out my vlog with Diana Skye. This was mostly made to promote Bongs-R-Us.ca.

Strain of the day: Train Wreck

Some personal life stuff did creep in but we are okay sharing that since some of the drama took place on YouTube last year.

Shout out to Matt Clarke co-founder of Bongs-R-Us.ca: https://www.facebook.com/mattclarke1993

Check out the new blog: https://bongs-r-us.ca

Check out the new shop: https://bongs-r-us.net/collections/all

Check out Ashton Deroy’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashtonqbe/

Check out Diana Skye’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dianaskyesa…

Checkout Diana Skye’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/CanuckSwan

Check out Ashton Deroy’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Ashton_Deroy

Checkout the best YouTube Channel ever: https://swanwhispersasmr.ca

Checkout our Podcast, By Diana Skye & Ashton Deroy. 

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Ashton Deroy writes: So I started today with a vape of something call Train Wreck. Then I went on a 6K run from North York to Markham. 

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Instagram: “When you scare your #Fiverr PR rep by running 6K to the meeting. 
Marketing meeting today on #WordPress , #Shopify & @vistaprint .”

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This picture links to the shirt products managed by Kyle Haiku a shareholder of the company. 

 

Remembering what I am in treatment for

Written by Ashton Deroy:

Last use of medication, over 24 hours ago.

Hey Readers, Facebook Friends & Family. I have been using marijuana for PTSD treatments since May 2018. I think I may have been overdoing it since last weekend so I decided to take 24 hours off use. What happened when I took my break? here is what happened when I took a full 24 hours off of use:

  • Unrelieved anxiety & paranoia – I entered back into the world where everyone is my enemy. Much like I felt when I was at Seneca from 2016-2018.
  • Depression – My feeling of hopelessness returned in full force. At points last night there were times when I could not do anything.
  • Interval sleeping – My brain stayed on high alert and every little noise woke me up. That is okay, “Doctors highly recommend 3 hours of sleep at a time. Right?”

To Summarize other feelings at this time. I don’t want to put on my favorite tye dye shirt or my bandanna, no thoughts of painting my nails & embracing my dual spirit. I want to hide like I don’t deserve to be seen. I don’t even feel like using my positive affirmations. Is it worth it?

Message me below with what you think. Happy healing guys!

Sincerely

Ashton Deroy

 

 

 

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What is PTSD?

Medical marijuana patient Asthon Deroy: 

Last use before writing: 6/27 0200, used treasure island indicia and Jean-Guy Sativa with melatonin. Through smoke & StarBucks medicated Mocha. 

Posted at: 6/27 0600

PTSD is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. 

If you ask Google what that is you get: 

“A condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world.” Google search

If you ask me what it is, however… I will tell you it is. 

  • Consistently having nightmares that make sleep impossible. 
  • Feeling like the world’s sole purpose with you is to torment you. 
  • Losing the ability to believe in love because it only amounts to pain 
  • Struggling to hold a job because you stress yourself out of them
  • Feeling crushed under the pressure of what you feel is your closely approaching doom.

On the telephone doing financial market research in the Baltimore territory. I got called a cockroach by someone on the other end of the phone 6/25. A cockroach, like something exposed to a filthy environment, multiple trauma’s but just won’t die! Even if you crush just a part of one of these pests, it can drag itself around still. However, a cockroach feels no pain!

Maybe I am dirty, maybe I am dragging around a partially crushed carcas. I do feel pain though & instead of letting it kill me. I just try to live in spite of it.